I’ve been thinking about memories a lot lately. I guess it makes sense with not only a recent death in the family, but also my baby’s first birthday coming up, and our house move. Understand, I’ve moved 20-something times in my life, so moving is no big deal to me. This move, however, is. Apart from the fact that the two years we have stayed here has been the longest my husband and I have stayed anywhere, this is also where my daughter was born. Right here. In the kitchen. I feel a great sadness leaving this house.
This is the bathroom, where I peed on three sticks and burst into tears. I had peed on probably 50 sticks in my adult life and never seen that second line. It is also the toilet I spent four months on my knees in front of as I was sick up to 20 times in one day. It is the toilet I sat in front of doing figure of eight’s on a birthball while I wrote a letter to my at that point nameless, sexless child through contractions. It’s next to the bath where she had her first bath. It now houses a little potty next to it which she uses. It is also the bathroom my sister redecorated for me for Christmas.
This is the kitchen where my little girl came in to the world in the most peaceful, beautiful birth I could ever have dreamed of. It is the kitchen where she first suckled on my breast, where she first looked in my eyes, where she first made her daddy cry. It is the kitchen where I have cooked all our meals, nourished our bodies and discovered organic foods. It is the kitchen where I lovingly washed and hung all the gifted clothes and blankets from friends and family.
This is the bed where I spent a large part of my pregnancy. It is the bed where my daughter had her first nappy put on. It’s the bed where we first lay down as a family and slept through the night. The only night we’ve slept through since her birth. It’s the bed where we co-sleep and it’s the bed where we’ve dealt with her teething, her fevers and her early morning waking. Conspicuously, it’s not where she was conceived – that was on a weekend away!
This is the lounge where I practiced yoga through the pregnancy. It’s the lounge where we’ve lain on the sofa as a couple, where we dreamt of our future, talked of the life to come, watched the baby kick. It’s the lounge where we had most of our midwives visits. It’s the lounge where we have entertained friends and family. It is the lounge where we celebrated my daughter’s first Christmas and soon will celebrate her first birthday. It is the lounge where we watched her crawl for the first time and the lounge where we watched her walk for the first time.
My inlaws may be moving soon too, so in their home there is more we have to say good bye to:
The bed where my daughter spent her first night away from home at four days old.
The shower where she had her first shower at five days old.
These are the memories, no, these are just some of the places where the memories were made, and I am sad. I am sad to leave them behind. I know the future is bright and I know there are many more memories to make, but right now, today, this moment, I am sad for the part of my life that I am, that we are, leaving behind.
Show me where some of your memories were made. I’d love to see a little more of your world too. Leave a comment with your link if you’d like to share!
I’m sobbing here! What wonderful memories you have.
Thank you Pippa 🙂
What a lovely post – it’s nice to just take the time and remember the things that happened instead of always rushing.
PS what a tidy house!!! I’ll share my memories when I’ve cleaned up!
@Whimsical Wife, LOL – I had to wait till the house was ready for viewings to take the photos, and this is with a lot of stuff already in storage. It’s how the house looks when people are coming… uh, well, I mean, thank you – I spend hours on it every day! ;D
I look forward to seeing your memories!
I was wondering if I should write the new owners of our old house a note telling them everything that’s special about it, not least the fact that a baby came to life in a pool in the living room…
Where are you going anyways?
@Ali, That’s a lovely idea! I’d love that!
We are going back to South Africa for six months – get away from the cold for a bit and have a real summer 😉
This is such a lovely post. I think this must be an issue faced by many parents but especially those who had a home birth. We live in a rented house and know we won’t be here more than another year (it is cold and not very child friendly so we are going to move.) But I do get emotional even now thinking about leaving, not because I like the house but because it was where my son was born. In the bedroom, right where my bed currently sits. Lying there some nights when he’s awake or I can’t sleep it always cheers me up and brings a smile to my face to know that this, right here, is where my son came into the world. At least you will always have the pictures and the memories.
@Jenny, You are so right Jenny. It’s feeling close to the magic, isn’t it. I do the exact same thing – when I’m tired, fed up or just feeling low, I close my eyes and remember that night and I can’t NOT feel better about things. I know I’ll still have that, and that we’re going somewhere that gives her more options,especially over the winter, but I still feel the tinge of loss 🙁
Thanks for the comment though, and good luck when your move comes around!
I should have written a post like that for when we moved. It was really hard to leave the room I birthed our second child in, where I ran a family daycare for 5 years so I could stay home with my kids, where I used to sit in our hammock nursing my girls and listening to the birds. I feel for you. it’s hard to say goodbye.
@Melodie, It really is hard! If you have pictures I don’t think it’s too late to write the post – a commemoration, of sorts!
That is such a lovely post, it must be heart breaking to have to leave a place with such happy memories x
@Tracy Dixon, It really is! Thanks for stopping by to comment!
I can so relate to this sadness. It’s happened twice to me, leaving a place where one of my children was born. It’s so nice that you’ve taken all these pictures so that you can always remember the sights, smells and sounds of the places where such profound miracles happened!
@Rebekah C, Thanks Rebekah. It’s true – I don’t know how I would manage without my photos. At least I have that 🙂
Aw Lushka, bless you, look you have photos of all those memories to take with you, change is good, I am sure you are even more excited about what is new and around the corner than you are sad about saying farewell. Time for a new backdrop for more fabulous memories! Cx
@Claire @ Cheshire Mum, Fabulous advice Claire, thank you 🙂 I’ll tweet sunny beach pictures all through the winter 🙂 (If I was at the beach – but pool photos might have to do!)
Beautiful post, more tears here x
@Sandy Calico, Thanks Sandy, and sorry for making you cry!
Ps- we hate moving so much that when we bought this one we chose a home we would enjoy forever more… hopefully I’ll never have to consider leaving the place with the memories! 🙂
@Eleanor, That’s really nice. The longest I’ve ever stayed in one place was, I think 3 years
I am crying too! What a softie I am. xx
@Eleanor, 🙁 thanks Eleanor. Nothing wrong with being a softie!
Oh Luschka, I had tears in my eyes reading that.
It’s a beautiful post and lovely to see your memories.
It is horrible to leave behind the memories that make who we are. We have special memories of each of the houses we have left behind over the last 19 months. I’ll get my pictures together and write a post. 🙂
Beth xx
@Beth, Thank you Beth. I will look at your blog for your post. It is really sad. Like leaving a bit of yourself behind. I’ve not really felt that leaving anywhere else before (in my adulthood, anyway)