Friday Favourites – More Thoughts On Support

I mentioned yesterday about a post written by Dagmar Bleasdale, and I am mentioning it again today as the favourite post I’ve read this week.

While the point of the post was more about bloggers, brands and the undermining of breastfeeding by formula companies, that wasn’t what struck me about it. But there were so many poignant points in the post that really resonated with me.

I’ve thought a lot about support recently, and the lack thereof that the modern way of life has afforded us. We live far from family, often don’t know our neighbours and for many of us – especially if you’re a blogger – our support group is, as my friend Ali from Sunrise Rants calls it, our ‘virtual village’.

This is so true. Most, if not all, of my parenting guidance comes from people online. So – yes, I’ve been thinking a lot about support systems lately.

Dagmar’s post had a few key points that I’d like to share:

• The best advice I ever got about breastfeeding was from my doula who said, “If you want to breastfeed and want to succeed, toss out the sample of formula you’ll get so you aren’t tempted to use it.”While so many mums would want to keep the sample ‘just in case’ this is invaluable advice. I remember telling my husband that we should buy some, ‘just in case’, but we actually forgot and never did. Having formula in the house if you want to breastfeed is pretty much like going on a diet but stocking up on your favourite chocolates, sweets and cakes – ‘just in case’ you flunk out of the diet.

• Another great tip I got from my doula was to stay in bed with my baby – for days. Someone else can do the dishes. Your most important job in those crucial first few days is to take care of yourself, to conserve your energy, and to really get to know your baby.For the life of me, I cannot remember where I read this, but in one of the Asian cultures, a woman is not expected to get out of bed for 30 days after her baby is born. For that month, she is to lie in bed with her baby, sleeping when he sleeps, awake when he wakes, feeding when he is hungry. Isn’t that unbelievably foreign to our Western culture, where the first success in motherhood is measured by how soon your baby sleeps on their own through the night? For those 30 days, the mothers female relatives run her household, and if there aren’t any, the husband does it. How awesome is that? That mother is in tune with her baby’s rhythms, he gets to know her, they understand each other.

Okay – I’ll leave it there for today. I’ve been feeling so strongly about support being key to success for new mothers, and I think that’s probably one of the first stumbling blocks – I know for me having my mother around for the first two weeks, guiding me with breastfeeding, helping around the house, making sure everyone ate, was an essential part of my success. I also know that support isn’t there for everyone.

But knowledge is power, and perhaps at least being aware of the need for support will be enough to prepare someone reading this. Not having support isn’t an indicator of it not working. But it helps.

SO…. what’s the best thing you’ve read or written this week?

Please share it below!

Do you have a favourite post you’ve read or written this week? No matter what the topic, add it to the linky below – BUT If you’re going to add a post to the linky, please read and comment on the post above yours and add this to your comment: “Stopping by from Friday Favourites at <a href=”http://www.diaryofafirstchild.com> Diary of a First Child</a>”