Dear Squidgy
I haven’t written to you in weeks. I can’t believe how quickly the last couple of months have gone. Just a few days ago it was Christmas – and suddenly here we are in February and I’m counting down the days. It’s crazy. You’ll be here within the month, and there still seems to be so much to do.
Actually that’s part of why the time has been going so fast. Every second of my day seems to be accounted for.
I’ve been teaching baby massage classes, and I’ve been doing training for another class I can teach once you’re born. I feel really bad that I have to go to work straight after you’re born, but things have been a bit tight with what they call ‘the recession’ and Daddy hasn’t been working much, so I have to do what I can to help him out.
Actually, it’s been a really stressful time and I’ve been quite worried and then, on top of the worry, I’ve been worried about what being worried is doing to you. Sounds rough, doesn’t it? But it’s okay. We’ll be fine. And you’ve been so spoiled by the people in this world that love you, even before you’re born. Mama’s been so amazingly touched by friends who’ve come through for you at a time when I was feeling really low.
The love from people around us has been amazing, and while we’ve really not needed much to prepare for your arrival, we’ve been so blessed by the things we have been given.
As for preparations, we’ve slowly but surely been getting on top of things. We’ve done a trial run on the birth pool, and I’ve been drinking the right tea and taking evening primrose oil capsules. I’ve been doing my kegels and we’ve washed the clothes you’ll need for the first while. We’ve acquired a Moses basket for your day time naps, and I’ve started making some extra meals to put in the freezer. I seem to be getting on top of the things we need to prepare for your arrival. Slowly, but surely.
What I am not on top of is the house stuff… the tidying, the cleaning, the constant picking up and the suddenly endless amount of laundry – I blame winter. We have to wear so many more clothes in this horrible cold weather.
I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but you were transverse for ages, and on New Year’s Eve you turned, just suddenly. You seem to be head down now, which is great, and you’re moving a lot. Some days I’m pretty sure you’re on the right side, and other days you’re most definitely on the left. In fact, I’m often lopsided. It’s a great look.
Oh – and my belly button finally popped out at 37 weeks. Just thought I’d make a note of the – it’s rather momentous.
I feel like there’s so much I have to say to you, yet sitting here staring at this page, I can’t think of the right words.
I think you’re the perfect gift for our family. I think we’re so blessed to have you joining us. I can’t wait to count your little fingers and toes. I can’t wait to put your gorgeous newborn nappies on you. I’m terrified, too, of the changes, the new stresses, the new things I’m going to have to learn. Having a baby once was such a learning curve, it changed everything about me. And I realise that you’re a new person, and the knowledge I have gained in this journey of parenthood may be useful, but may also mean nothing. You may be totally different. You will be totally different. There’s no doubt about that. It excites me, and it terrifies me.
I love you Squidgy. I love you already. (Now I just need to start thinking of potential names for you!)
Mama