Pregnancy is a very confusing time. It’s not the prospect of bringing a child in to the world, or having to child proof the house or anything like that. It’s not even the emotions involved, the joy, the fear and the uncertainty or the expectation. It’s non of that. It’s the physical stuff that I find confusing.
The bleeding continued yesterday, very slightly not even a lot, just pink enough to show up, until the evening when there was no more than a few drops of deep red blood. I know that worrying about it doesn’t help the situation, so you take a few deep breaths and try to calm your mind and carry on. I thought I was okay, till I got in to bed and started crying. Martin is as supportive as someone who knows as much as I do about all this can be. It’s terrifying, not knowing. Is our little Button’s heart still beating? Is it safe?
Our little baby is so much a part of our lives already
We stood in the study yesterday, mentally rearranging the furniture so that there’s space for a crib and a chest of drawers. Our little baby is so much a part of our lives already, and not knowing, just not knowing… well that is the scary, the confusing part.
Martin put his arms around me and held me, until I fell asleep.