Inside me, there is a little human growing. A little person begining to form and the thought just blows me away.
Well, it has been a surreal few hours. I called Martin at work last night to tell him I really felt like going out for dinner. We’re trying really hard to save money for a holiday, so he was hard to convince, but I got there in the end. I ran down in to town to see if I could find anything whatsoever that had the word “dad” in it – you know, “world’s greatest dad”, “no.1 dad” type fathers day gifts. I eventually found a dodgy looking mug and coaster set with “dad’s house rules” written on it.
I bought it and a slab of chocolate (for the shock!) and on my return home, wrapped my first pregnancy test in a plastic bag and wrapped the lot up. I met Martin at the restaurant a little while later and told him I’d bought him a present. He opened it and his first response was “is this what I think it is!” I welled up with tears and said “yes – the doctor needs to wait for the tests to come back, but thinks I’m potentially up to 8 weeks already!”
The first decision we’ve made is to not make any decisions yet – so no rushing out and buying baby clothes or anything. We’re also not telling our friends yet. We need to be comfortable with it first, and enjoy our little secret on our own for a little while.
We did however, contact our parents the moment we got home. Martin’s parents live in England too, so we called them, and they were very excited. My family is a little more complicated, but I eventually got to speak to both my mom and dad. My dad was so excited (he’s wanted a grandchild for the last 10 years!) and sounded quite emotional while my mom became very professional very quickly. (She’s a midwife herself). She started questioning me about my diet, my alcohol intake and my vitamin supplies straight away. My gran was just as excited, although she said she feels old.
Funnily enough it was my brother and sister’s reactions that somehow brought it home to me the most. When I told my sister, I started giggling with a giddy happiness – I felt like school girls behind a shed sharing a secret. Her joy was tangible and I felt it straight away. My brother is in India at the moment, and when I finally managed to get hold of him, he sounded quite awestruck, actually. In all, I felt such good ‘vibes’ from my family that I feel really blessed today.
It’s been funny being at work, really – I want to send an all staff memo, but I know I must keep it quiet for now. I just feel very smug from time to time, knowing there’s something wonderful only I know!
And then, from time to time, for no particular reason, it hits me: Inside me, there is a little human growing. A little person beginning to form and the thought just blows me away.