For the first time in my life, I wanted New Year’s eve to pass with as little notice a possible. I worked a little, answered emails, watched a movie. At about 11pm we opened a bottle of my favourite Nicolas Feuillatte Champagne and when the clock struck, I put down the laptop, and wished those members of the family who were still awake a happy new year. My dad had gone to bed already, my sister’s plane had taken off and she was on her way home, and I was awake only because I needed to see in 1:17 – the time at which my mother had given her last breath a week before.

On the 1st we went to a local garden centre for some hot chocolate. We just wanted the day to pass. It felt awkward, not wanting to feel much of anything, trying to pretend that we were pretending to be feeling anything, or something, or nothing.

Here’s to a better tomorrow. Hot Chocolate


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Categories: Motherhood


Mamatography 2014 – Week 1: La La La La La

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