Well, we â€˜ve had some week, haven’t we? No sooner did I finish writing your letter last week saying thanks for the no sickness, than guess what? I had to do a runner for the toilet. It didn’t stop either and by Thursday I was vomiting bits of blood in the bile. I went to the doctor and asked for something to help me and I was given some tablets. I’m sorry about that. I hate that I have to be on pills when you’re busy growing. It really doesn’t sit well with me, but I hope you’ll be okay from it.
The pills knocked me out for much of the week too â€“ I’d have four to five hour naps at least once a day and pretty much mooch about in a daze the rest of the time.Â It’s not been ideal, really.
You’re the size of a lentil seed or apple pip now, and your brain has started to develop. Your heart has separated into clavicles and it’s beating at about 150 beats a minute. Your face is developing features (and I secretly really hope you have that little flaw that creates dimples, just like mine) and there are little nubs in place for your arms and legs.
Honestly, Squidgy, it’s tough. I’m having a hard time getting excited right now, because all I feel is sick or tired or weak. Don’t read that as me not wanting you â€“ trust me, you are one very wanted baby. On my hands and knees in the shower yesterday bringing up bright yellow bile with bits of blood, I understood why women choose to have terminations, but that’s not something I could do to you.Â You are wanted, little baby. Never forget that.
I feel ever so slightly better today, nauseas, but not sick, so the meds must be working, despite leaving me groggy and having four to five hour naps. I’m still weak from a week of no eating, but a good day is a good day. Here’s hoping.
Love you Squidgy,