I’m 23 weeks pregnant today, and in the back of my mind I’m starting to think of baby names. I must admit that it’s not something I enjoy thinking about. I should, but I don’t. With Ameli, we didn’t know her gender until she was born and as a result we found it really difficult to choose a name. She stayed ˜Button’ for five days after birth. We don’t know Squidgy’s gender either, and rather than put myself through the stress of it all again, I’ve decided to not even think about it until I’m holding my bundle of Squidge in my arms. Yeah right. The thought does cross my mind, and every now and then I catch myself paying close attention to the credits at the end of a movie to see what other people are called.
It was such a nightmare finding one name we liked, now we have to do it all again?!
Half the problem for me is that I believe that words have impact and what you call a child can have an impact on who and what they become. I’m not the only one either – there was a study a while ago that concluded that the spelling of your name could affect your future!
Then there’s the meaning of a name fortunately the internet is full of lists that will tell you the name meanings and yesterday I was at Farah Kids buying some winter clothing for Ameli and I glanced over the book section – it was full of baby name books. There was one on potty training and the rest were just about what to name your baby.
It’s a pretty big decision.
In a way I envy people who know from conception or before what they will be calling their children. It seems so much easier.
So, I’ve been doing what I do and analysing what’s important to me in the naming of my baby:
1) Uniqueness.
I’m sorry. My name is Luschka. I can’t be mother to John or Sue. Both lovely names, but not for me. I loved having an unusual name growing up. I don’t remember ever being teased for it. I loved that they could never find my name in those supermarket ‘what does your name say about your personality’ machines. I liked that it didn’t define me or pigeon hole me.
2) Meaning.
A name has to have a meaning, for me. I have to agree with the meaning. I have to like what it stands for. I have to hope for it’s associations for my child’s future. (Think Hitler then think Theresa or Diana. Most names have an association.)
3) Familial history.
Well, I always said if I have a son, his middle name would be Ed, after my uncle who was murdered 11 years ago. So for a boy, it has to go with Ed. But that’s the only familial ‘tie’ for me. None of the rest of our families have names that I really want to pass on – not because they’re not good people, but because none of them match criteria number one. Many parents are also choosing short four-letter names now as they are so cool, have a look at https://kidadl.com/baby-names/inspiration/fantastic-four-letter-names-for-your-new-arrival for the best ideas.
4) Fit.
This is actually the most important point, for me, but one that doesn’t apply until after the baby is born, and I have had a chance to look into his or her eyes.
So that’s me. No wonder I’m at a loss, right.
How did you choose your baby’s name? What was the important criteria for you?
I tend to go internet ‘shopping’ for names. Google names and meanings that we like, search long lists by origin and then I condense what I like and share them with the huz… He then chucks out half of it and we keep the rest in an excell file, and go back and forth every time with think about it. Sometimes we’ll add a name when we hear or see it somewhere, then find out it’s meaning.
For us, it’s uniqueness/fit/origin/meaning
We already have two boys names for a long time… girls names are a bit more difficult. I think now we’re close to deciding on two and then we’ll see which one fits the baby best (or the meaning of the name best)
But I agree it’s so important and it’s such a big thing.
I am happy with my daughter’s name though 🙂
@Mamapoekie, Lol. I love the term ‘internet shopping for names’. Also, I had a giggle at the hubby binning half the names. SO like it was for us with Ameli. I did all the work, he binned half of it, I started again 😉 Funny.
I’m really happy with the name we have too (for Ameli). I’ve so often looked at her and thought wow – that name is just so fitting for who you are.
Thanks for the comment!
These are some great reasons behind choosing a name. I think we have similar ideas about how to figure out their names. We decided to meet each of ours before naming them. It drove our friends and family a little nuts not to have a name, but we knew a name would come when we got to know our little ones. My youngest was almost 6 weeks old before he told us his name. Until then, he was Buddha. And he’ll probably always have Buddha as a nickname. It suits his character so well.
Names are important. I agree with you, having an unusual name was a positive experience for me growing up. I reclaimed a new version of my name when I became an adult. It was what everyone called me anyway and made the most sense. Maybe my littlest will claim Buddha for his own when he grows up.
Good luck choosing a name. It seems like a huge decision when you think about it, but it clears up when you just relax (as you describe in your post)
@Zoie @ TouchstoneZ, Wow! Six weeks! I think we have to register our babies by six weeks, so I’d probably be freaking by that point 😉
I agree too – I loved having an unusual name. I found someone online with Ameli’s exact name and middle name the other day – they had a baby this year – and I’m gutted!! Lol. My husband, being Martin, doesn’t get it!
Yes – I’m breathing it out and letting it go until I’m holding Squidge in my arms. Thanks for the support!
We new Dylan was a boy from 20 weeks on and still didn’t have a name for him until the second night he was born. It has meaning that is important to my husband and I. I wanted something unique and he wanted something more traditional (his name is Andrew). Dylan felt like a compromise! I too felt like I had to meet my baby before I could give him a name. The naming thing totally stressed me out too!
@Sunny, I think that’s a lovely name, not at all common, but nothing ‘teaseworthy’. Thanks for the comment!
Luschka is a real nice name, i tried searching for the meaning but really couldn’t find anything. As far as the choice of names are concerned, i like names with deep meanings. Family history can be used, but i dont care much for it.
I like Sarah’s idea of the elder kids deciding the middle names, this is indeed a great idea..:)
@Aaron McGlauchlen, Thanks. Yip, It means ‘little light’ in some or other Russian dialect, I believe, which I’ve always felt to be fitting.
I agree – Sarah’s idea is lovely!
Well, all of the above really, but I’ve always said my babies name themselves. With my first, I couldn’t settle on a girl name at all, nothing seemed right, we settled with “Jessica” but then in labour I had this sudden panic and told husband if we had a girl she HAD to be named Jenna. With my second, I didn’t like the name Morgan *at all* and had fixed firmly on Este until she was born and I looked at her and she just *was* Morgan. The third named herself Rowan at twenty weeks, it came into my head, and I spent the rest of the pregnancy pretty much in tears because hubby was set against it for a boy (she was a girly anyway lol).
This time I had a few boy names to choose from really early, but again the girl name just wouldn’t come, not even something as a fallback option. Then one name started to grow on me, and out of the blue my seven year old said, “Mum, if baby is a girl, we should call her XY” and it was the name I was thinking with the most *perfect* middle name. So I’m leaning towards thinking this baby is a girl, just because of the naming!
(My eldest daughter chose the middle names for all of her siblings, indirectly. With the second born we gave her two choices, with the others it has been 100% her, she has just blurted out THE right middle name out of nowhere.) 🙂
@Sarah, Thanks for the comment Sarah! I think it’s lovely having your older siblings help choose a name.
At the moment I have a gender suspicion, a gut feeling as I did with Ameli, but I have NO ideas for names yet. I love the idea of a baby naming themselves, and I’ll let Squidge do the same.