I read a really powerful and moving guestpost this week over at Mama Eve. Anastacia talks about her c-sections and how she spent a long time mourning and angry after the first, and found healing in the second.
Although I wanted a VBAC, it meant more to me that this pregnancy be about healing and closure and I set out to do just that.
In the end, Anastacia never had her VBAC, but rather a repeat section, but she learned not to regret her birth experiences.
I’ve learned that my daughters’ births should not define me; it’s me who was meant to define their births.
And then she takes her experiences and turns them into positive affirmations of herself and her womanhood: I will never again regret how my daughters’ entered this world. My scar will never again be the symbol of my failure as a woman nor the token of my cheated passage into Motherhood, but rather it will shine as the physical personification of how deep a love I possess to endure all for my little angels.
I was really moved by her story, especially since so many women feel that they have failed, when the truth is that it is more often the system that fails the woman.