Every now and then, Mr. Husband makes a comment about it being time for #2. Baby, that is. We’re not that kind of couple.  He’ll say something about a sibling for Ameli. Or make a comment about wanting another baby. Or something undisguised like that. And while I applaud his openness, willingness and all that, I must admit, it makes my knees slam shut – to put it politely.

The thought of having another baby is thrilling. The soft newborn skin, the beautiful face, that first gentle whimper, the birth – oh, how I long for another beautiful birth – even some parts of the pregnancy. But it also terrifies me to the point of my heart racing and my head spinning. I didn’t have a beautiful pregnancy, and the thought of experiencing that again, with a very rambunctuous toddler on my hands, is, well… terrifying. Especially since I do most of it alone. (With no family around, and Mr.Husband working 10 – 12 hour days to keep me in this lifestyle I’m now very accustomed to.)

Then there’s the no-longer a newborn business too, you know, entertaining two kiddos, keeping two from tearing the house apart, and if junior is anything like his/her sister, well, we may as well move into a pig sty, to be honest.

And all that aside, life is pretty perfect. We’re in a ‘can afford one child’ bracket, obviously, as we’re still alive, we have a pretty good work/life balance, Ameli and I have a great relationship. She doesn’t see daddy as much as I’d like, but still, she has his undivided attention when she has it. I like our little family of three. And I’d love to have four children by the end of my life, but it’s getting from one to four that well… I don’t see that path ahead of me.

I cannot imagine that I’ll have a moment’s peace ever again. And, selfishly, that thought mortifies me. I know it can’t be all bad – millions have done it before me, and millions will after, and I have many a friend who had babies around the same time as Ameli who are now either announcing their pregnancies, or are about to or have already given birth to their second (brave, brave souls.)

So, anything I read about 2nd children really jumps out at me at the moment, as I try to find justification for either my fear, or encouragement to get past it.

Which brings me to today’s Friday Favourite. Not particularly because I need it, but perhaps because it’ll bring something to the life of those of you with two or more children.

Courtney, who writes for API speaks, wrote 7 Resolutions for Baby Number Two where she includes such things as : I will live in the moment (note to self, there), I won’t feel guilty when I don’t get it all done (ditto), and I’ll ask for help (Martin’s always moaning at me about this one – apparently he can’t sense when I forgot to take something out the freezer for dinner and need him to do it?)

She says, about her first, “I relied on books, where each one contradicts the next, and instinct. In retrospect, I’ve realised that instinct usually trumped what I found in print.” I found that so valuable, and so true, as for the most part, I’ve done this all on instinct.

So, what would, are, will you be doing, or did you do differently with baby number two?

Remember to link up your favourite posts – yours or someone else’s – from the week below. If you do, please comment on the blog post before yours so this isn’t just a linky, but there’s some actual comment love too. Thanks!

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Categories: Friday Features


Friday Favourites – 7 Resolutions For Baby Number Two

  1. I feel the same anxieties (or apprehensiveness?) that you do about having baby #2. Our daughter is 20 months old, and I’ll be biting the bullet and trying this summer. I know that I want two children, a sibling for my daughter, but it is daunting for a worry wart like myself.
    The second time around I think that I’ll nurse in bed, lying down. It was hard getting up in the middle of the night, going into her bedroom, breastfeeding, going back to my bed for a couple hours and doing it again two hours later. That sounds exhausting, especially with an active toddler. I also want to buy a swing because it was a bit tiring holding my daughter all the time when I had other things to do (like showering). But my ultimate goal (and this doesn’t need to wait for baby #2) is to manage my time. I don’t want to waste nap time surfing the black hole that is the Internet (just an example…).
    I worried a lot about the first pregnancy and it turned out better than I expected. I hope the same will happen the second time around (although now I have some health issues, e.g. acid reflux that I need to deal with.)
    Good luck! I’m sure it will be easier than you think (let’s all hope so, at least!!)

  2. I found going from 1-2 was a little more difficult than going from 0-1. That said, children can be remarkably inexpensive – especially from a natural perspective. Love them, feed them, provide a roof and a place to sleep, and a little creative entertainment that’s all they really need. When they get older, they can amuse each other. My almost 3 year old is a handful, and I eagerly await the day that my 8 week old can walk and run to play with her so that they can have each other. I originally wanted 3, but this last pregnancy was hard on me physically, and my husband is quite a bit older than me with a 16 year old in addition to our two, so I’m content to stay at 2.

  3. I have two girls – 4.5 and 1 and 4 months- and it is hard. My husband and I planned to have only one child, but well, sex happens and sometimes we aren’t paying attention. They say unwanted pregnancies, not unwanted children. And that is our case. There are some days. I wish I still had one. The quality of time is there. With two, I feel scattered (especially since we attachment parent. I feel as if my older child doesn’t get enough time/love since she wasa used to be the attached child). And, my older girl is better for having a sister. As soon as the baby was born, B came out of her shell, participated mo at school and lost all shyness. Weird. But good. And now, the girls play and interact and hug and cuddle. However, I am run ragged, feel guilty form losing my temper and I hate picking up the constant messes. And it is more expensive. This summer the baby will start at Montessori (loved the bed post by the way) and that is a huge cost. By having one, you can provide more. And I don’t means toys. Trips, classes, experiences. They are cheaper with one. Again, I love my kids. But when I had the baby, I went backwards. I lost some of the freedom. And i feel like I lost the really tight relationship i had with my older child. This is all a long winded way to say, do what is
    best for your family and most importantly for you. Because If the Mom isn’t happy, no one is happy.

  4. I am right there with you! I am still nursing #1: he is a handful of toddler by now. Last night, my husband brought to my attention that he was born when his sister was the same age as our son is now… and I thought, “No wonder your mom is crazy!” …do pardon me for saying so. I wonder if I will ever have room/time for the big family I want so desperately?

  5. Do I ever get what you’re saying. Huz and I also want to end up with 4 at least (after having one, we have decided that our initial number may be too low) and we have wanted a second child since… forever (over two years, can you imagine?) we have been actively trying for a year and 3 months.
    But sometimes I wonder if a second pregnancy, a second birth a second child, if all that is really a good idea. I go through days in a row where I struggle with just the one. Where I imagine eloping to a life of seclusion, to rediscover that I indeed am a person.
    Through these three years I have regained a little space for me, am I to give that up once again?

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