My Friday Favourite today is an article from The Stir: Attachment Parenting: What It Really Means To Be AP.
I really like the way Michele Zipp has explained attachment parenting in this article. Her views are welcoming and non-judgemental, and make me want to be an Attachment Parent (which, thankfully, I am.)
I’ve really been struggling in this â€˜community’ recently, because I don’t feel as though I measure up. My tiredness and workload have meant Ameli’s been watching more DVD’s than I like. My nausea means I’ve not been preparing many wholesome nutritious meals. My energy levels are pretty low (the meals might help!) so playing on the playroom floor with Duplo blocks simply doesn’t appeal to me right now.Â And this article was exactly what I needed to hear.
Perhaps I’m not being the best mother, the â€˜funnest’ mother, the most engaging, challenging or stimulating mother, my laundry pile is sky high, and the dishes are my Goliath, but those aren’t the things that matter to my little girl.
Perhaps it’s the pregnancy hormones, but there were so many things in this article that really touched me.Â For example,Â Ms Zipp says,â€ If you can’t breastfeed, the most important part of this whole thing is to be very active in your time spent with your baby. When you feed them, try to have skin-on-skin contact which is proven to have benefits, and talk to your child and interact with them while feeding, and respect when they’re full instead of worrying about the ounces on the bottle.â€
Isn’t that what being child-led is all about?
And on that note, she says about child-led parenting: â€œWe follow our child’s lead. It’s about showing your child respect as a person, for their needs, wants, and feelings. It has nothing to do with letting your child rule the roost, and anyone who claims such doesn’t really understand attachment parenting in the first place. Child-led does not mean your child tells you what to do. It means paying attention â€¦. We understand that every child is different, and we follow the cues of our child, and respect their individuality while shaping them towards the person we want them to be without squashing who they are or disrespecting them.â€
And, probably the point that meant the most to me, especially with how things have been these last few weeks is on babywearing:
“Babies want to be involved in your day-to-day routine, and they want you to talk to them about what you’re doing. Consider this B to not be Babywearing, but proximity to your baby throughout the day. APers don’t think, “â€¦ can I put him down to do the dishes EVER?” they think, “How can I involve him while I do the dishes so we’re both happy?“
What a fantastic point.
While there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing in the comments of this article about circumcision and CIO â€“ neither of which are practices I do or would subscribe to â€“ they weren’t the point of this article, and I thought as an explanation to a newbie about what Attachment Parenting is, and how it is different to Helicopter Parenting, Â Michele Zipp sums it up perfectly in this closing statement:
“Hover parents never allow their children to make decisions for themselves, and have no time for their own activities as a result of not trusting their own child to make good decisions.”